With a wistful smile, Danny locked the door on The Old Pylon Cafe Forum forever and ever, pausing only to kick Darren Rea out of the way - he'd been camping in the doorway again in a bid to sneak a message through the corridors of yesteryear.

This really is the very last message in the Forum, although Bravenet assure me that the Forum will still be on display for all to see, for at least the next forty five years.

The new Pigeon Loft Forum can be located below. Byeeeeeeeee!

I nominate Alex. Although, he will probably just replace the word "Pylon Cafe" with "Fossilised Roman poo"

How come, Mr Salter, I can still post in here! THis is the archive!

I nominate Darren to do it. Mind you he will probably just put 'Dr Who' in place of 'Pylon Cafe'.

Well,the new front page is now up, the whole site should be revamped by the end of the weekend. The brand new forum should also be up any day now.

Does anybody out there want a job? I need someone to cross out any reference to 'pylon cafe' on any page on the whole site and change it to 'pigeon loft'. I am willing to pay as much as £1.80 an hour for this mammoth task.

Hoorah! Danny's back. Normal service will hopefull be resumed - which means Alex talking w ank!

....message continued from below.

Where was I? Oh yes, Alex's comics. I'm going to try and sell them all in one go, hopefully to a blind bloke who won't be able to see the dismal condition you left them in!

Darren, I can now exclusively reveal the answer to the mystery which has been haunting you for so long, regarding the origin of the 'long holiday' speech. It's the voice of Bilbo Baggins in The Lord Of The Rings film, just before he b uggers off and leaves all the hard work to Frodo.

Nice to see Archer and Nobbie and all the rest are still here, but what happened to James and Zakabamzam? I suspect the change of URL may have been just a little bit too complicated for them to fathom out, despite my idiot guide on the front page.

Anyway, I'm off now to kill a deer for my tea. Look out for the new site and new things in here any day now! Onwards and upwards!

Ooooh,my aching head, that was some party....

How's everybody doing then? Ever since I moved out of Pylon Cafe Towers, life on the road has proved to be pretty hectic and tiring. My donkey ran off after a mere three days, so I had to go and get a bike to continue my travels. Then somebody nicked it whilst I was having a piss in Waterloo station. The very next day, I saw a donkey wearing a crash helmet and riding a very similiar bike to mine down a motorway. Life just kicks you in the teeth sometimes doesn't it?

I've finally managed to get back on the internet for a while after Bill Gates' pathetic and immature attempts to keep me off it at all costs, but the only computer that will allow me into cyberspace is located in a secret underground bunker and it is here I now sit, surrounded by nothing but dead bodies and poisonous gases. The computer is an old 1968 model and so my internet access is a tad slow but it's still nice to be back even if it may only be for a short time - Bill Gates and his evil army are even now tracking me down in a bid to stop me opening the Pigeon Loft. I hope to finally close down the Cafe for good within the next fortnight and get the Pigeon Loft up and running A.S.A.P.

The most frustrating thing about being offline all this time was that I was just putting the finishing touches to the Rough Guide to Home Computing and The Arcades which has since remained in limbo all this time. I'll get it up as soon as I can, that's if I can remember whereabouts in Cyberspace I hid it.

Alex, I have none of your money, I spent it all on whores during a brief visit to Mexico a couple of weeks ago. All three pounds of it. 99.9% of your comics are still in storage in a different underground bunker following a brief stint on eBay which attracted no interest whatsoever except for a couple of Judge Dredds which went for three quid.

Ran out of space. Humpf.

The public outpouring of grief over Danny's disapearence is immense. at least two (2!) people have broken down in tears publicly on this guest book. I havn't though. I'm not gay.

Alex, mate. Where the *** is Danny. I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of miss the little fella. I miss his rants and insane outpourings and I miss the way he used to sign off every post with a wink to the camera... oh wait. That was Anne Robinson wasn't it?

DANNY! WHERE ARE YOU?

Danny? Danny?

DANNY!

This is worse than when he disapeared in Derbyshire.

Woto chaps, Nibbles here. Having a lttle musical swaray next week. Wondered if you folk would like to attend. Plenty of weed and so forth, chemicals and such like. Violin man myself. Harty Harty Harty Haa!

Nice looking site. Why don't you hop along to my site and submit your link?

The only mission Danny is on is spending my money in the Sechelles on fast women and Loose cars. And booze probably. In fact, it is probably only booze he is spending the money on.

danny has been called away on urgent secret spy business, he will return to open the pigeon loft as soon as his skills are no longer required. thank u for your patience

I'm still here.

Thanks Darren. Where is everybody else as well? Where's Nobby, Archer, Ben, Our James etc.? Is everybody hanging around on the east coast?

I for one am leaving here and going over to one of Alex's lovely sites! Danny! What the **** are you doing?

Does anyone bother with this website anymore? Can i tell you about my great websites then:

www.angelfire.com/de2/dorkshire
www.angelfire.com/apes/lesdennis
www.angelfire.com/extreme/immanis

Rumour has it that Danny has been spotted somewhere on the East Coast, trying to train his bloodhound to be a sea rescue dog.

Ì'm here in Dublin. Is this a competion?