SPAIN - I was dreading another pile of ordure following last year’s Spanish entry. But for once their new system has come up with quite a little cracker of a song. I somehow doubt it will be troubling the top scorers in the contest, but I like it and that’s all that counts for me.
SWEDEN – Oh perlease! After 32 songs, endless contests and duels they come up with this? Just when you thought Sweden couldn’t get any more rubbish, along come ‘La Voix’ just to prove you wrong. The mix of phony opera and pop is outstandingly bad. And as for her voice… Oh for God’s sake, hand me a gun, so I can put the poor creature out of her misery.
SWITZERLAND - Another surprise from Switzerland. They send something astonishingly fresh and very contemporary. I found I liked this a lot. Is it immediate enough to tempt the viewers to vote for it? I’m not sure there, but full marks for trying, Switzerland.
TURKEY - I sigh for the days when the phrase, “And now the entry from Turkey” sounded more of a promise and less like a threat. To describe this drivel as anything other than terrible would be an unacceptable failure on my part. A sad recycling of ‘My Number One’ shows they are utterly bankrupt of ideas.
UKRAINE - People keep saying this is a joke entry, so I looked up the word ‘joke’ in my dictionary. It said that it is “Something to provoke laughter”. So why am I not laughing? But wait…there’s a second meaning, ”Something ridiculously unsuitable or inadequate”. So there you have it…in other words it’s a bag of shite.
UNITED KINGDOM - Well you can’t fault the UK for effort this year. But I have to admit that when we finally heard the song, my initial reaction was, “Is that it?” It’s one of those rare cases when the verse is much better than the chorus. But the repetitive nature doesn’t really do the song many favours. I expected more from Diane Warren. Jade will give her all, but I can’t see this making a huge impact.
Last one before cocoa, slippers and bed. All of these countries promise more than they deliver. None of them is truly appalling but none of them make you want to rush off to Smiths with your Nana's gift voucher stuck in your clammy little hand either.
Apart from one.
For my money the best song of the Contest and my personal douze points goes to those wholesome chaps from Basel. Well done Switzerland, a great entry and one I would love to see take the title. I will no doubt be disappointed but one can but hope for a contest in Basel or Zurich. Preferably Zurich as it's pretty and you can see some pretty impressive mountains from the city centre. And apparently there are some gnomes there too. Allegedly.
