ESTONIA - Finally Estonia comes out of the shadows of increasingly dreadful songs over the past few years. This is excellent! I love the sound of Estonian and for me this is one of this year’s highlights. Go Estonia!

FINLAND - Yay! At last, a really fantastic effort from Finland. This is so good I can almost (but not quite) forgive them for the ultimate monstrosity that was ‘Hard Rock Horrorlujah’.

FRANCE - So she’s really famous? Er…how? If you're in the mood for a boring by-the-numbers Eurovision ballad that goes absolutely nowhere, this is for you. It’s desperately dated and it just dies before our eyes. But it will be a mercy killing.

GERMANY - Hm…this is a strange one. I really can’t quite get to grips with the swing tempo jarring strangely with the poppish vocal. Not nearly as bad as I was expecting, but that’s not saying much.

GREECE - Run for your lives! Sakis is back…and he’s still terrible. I’m beginning to expect a totally predictable formula from Greece and this hasn’t let me down. It’s an unsurprising bit of fluff with the inevitable dance routine designed to try and make you forget how bad the song is. At about 40 seconds in you will lose patience. At about 90 seconds in you will lose all hope. And still it goes on for another minute and a half.

Hurrah for the Finno-Ugrics! If you ask me the ferry between Tallinn and Helsinki could play their respective entries over the tanoy the whole journey long and I would be a very happy bunny. Both songs are fab and I think Estonia should be collectively forgiven after the sh*te they sent last year. France, Germany and Greece all OK but none is a winner.